


probably in love

by worojung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abstract, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Introspection, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Short Drabble, angsty drabble, doyoung is sad, friends with benifits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 11:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14283792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worojung/pseuds/worojung
Summary: doyoung’s in love.probably.





	probably in love

**Author's Note:**

> hey you crusty dusty hoes i havent posted in a bit so heres this angsty drabble bc ya boy going thru some shit

doyoung’s in love.  
probably.  
he can feel it in moments like these, where a cool, grey, light falls over his bedroom from the east-facing window and he can feel yuta’s warmth right next to him.  
cold wet air slips in through the window that yuta always insists stays open when he’s at doyoung’s house. the earthy scent fills the room and doyoung can hear the _tip-tap_ of a gentle rain accompanied by train horns blaring in the distance. yuta’s back is turned to doyoung and his body is sat still in a soft, warm, sleep.  
doyoung wants to reach out and touch, but he can’t, like yuta is a brilliant painting in a museum and doyoung is just an observer, there’s a line he can’t cross, there’s art he can’t touch,  
and that’s all so unfortunate because doyoung knows the second yuta leaves he’ll shut his window and close his blinds and his room will get hot and stuffy and fill with clement, dry, artificial light, and the warm indent that yuta leaves in doyoung’s bed will grow cold again.  
he knows he’ll suffocate himself in his own warmth.  
he doesn’t want to though. he wants yuta to help him breathe.  
maybe in another life doyoung could tell yuta that he’s probably in love with him.  
but he won’t in this one.  
doyoung instead chooses to cherish seconds like these, knowing it’s stupid to hold onto dreams of a domestic life that seem so distant.  
doyoung etches every part of this moment into his mind, the sweet smell of rain, the cold air, the song stuck in the back of his head, and most importantly the way yuta looks, the way his legs tangle together, the way he clutches his own wrist, his deep, heavy breaths. yuta shifts, rolling over to face the ceiling.  
he looks beyond stunning, long lashes fallen gently above his cheeks, barely opened mouth that deep breaths slip in and out of.  
doyoung’s heart stops like he’s never seen yuta’s face before.  
his hand moves without him thinking and he lays it over yuta’s bare collarbone.  
doyoung can feel yuta’s heartbeat through his chest. it’s slow and steady, contrasting doyoung’s which is now picking up more and more speed every time he feels the soft _ba-dum_ in yuta’s chest.  
he feels like he’s drowning.  
he keeps one thought in his head the whole time,  
_i’m not the only one to hold him like this,_  
it drives a knife down doyoung’s throat.  
the distant ideas of love and a domestic life rush to the front of his mind, months of feelings of discontent with this ridiculous on-again off-again bullshit crash over him in a wave of sadness and frustration and probably love.  
ropes wrap around doyoung’s stomach and squeeze at his organs. tears burn in his eyes and all the words he’d choked back threaten to spill out of his mouth.  
but they don’t spill.  
they probably won’t ever.  
yuta doesn’t seem like the type to fall in love anyway.  
but doyoung’s in love.  
absolutely in love.

**Author's Note:**

> all comments and kudos appreciated !! <3
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/fr0gz69) <3


End file.
